The Sexxiest Fanfic EVAR

My name is Gerard Way.  I am 16, like to draw, and I'm gay.  I have no idea why I would be mentioning this in the second sentence of the story, as it sounds quite awkward to introduce myself with random facts, but I don't care because MCR IZ LIK DA FUKIN AWSOMESST SHIIT ND IF U DON'T LIK DEM U JUST A PUSY-- yeah.

I have few friends at my high school, because being an outcast makes me more lovable and relatable to the reader.  Ray, Bob, and my brother Mikey are the only decent people at my school.  I get bullied a lot, because that's how fangirls like to imagine me, as a helpless, sexy teenager.  Now that the awkward, half-assed introduction is out of the way, let's get into the "actual" "story".

I was sitting in my first period, drawing a fucking masterpiece because that's what I do in all my classes, when the door opens and a guy walks in.  He's amazingly gorgeous, he makes my heart beat faster and butterflies fly around in my stomach, etc, etc.  So he stands in the front of the class, jumping around like a fucking monkey on speed, and says "Hi I'm Frank and I like Skittles and I play guitar and I like Skittles and I just moved here and I like Skittles!!! Skittles Skittles Skittles!! SKITTLES!!!!!!"

Why the fuck does he keep talking about Skittles?? It's so goddamn annoy-- *grits teeth*  It's so endearing and cute that he's fucking obsessed with a fucking candy.  Fucking idiot-- I mean, fucking cutie pie.

The psychotic little midget sits down next to me, as the seat next to me is the only one not taken.  He turns to me and asks, "What's your name my name's Frank and I like Skittles and--"
"Yeah, I heard.  You like Skittles.  My name's Gerard."
"Hi Gerard! That's a nice name!! Do you like Skittles???"
Sigh.  This was going to be a long day.

===

It was the end of the day.  Frank was in all my classes, and I had gotten him to stop talking about Skittles long enough to actually learn something about him.  We were somehow the same age, despite being born years apart (nothing weird about that, you see), and he was a pretty cool guy once he calmed down a bit.  Not to mention, he was the sexiest mofo I have ever seen.  The sexual attraction that I was feeling was obviously not reciprocated, though, because how could the other character in a slash fic possibly be gay?  I mean, it was impossible that he could ever like me like that, despite the three times I had caught him openly staring at my ass.  No, it's an impossibility.

I had invited him to my house, and we had just gotten in the door when Mikey arrived home.  He walked up to me, put his arms around my waist, and about choked me with his tongue.

"MIKEY??? WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING???????"
"You told me this morning that this was gonna be a Waycest!!"
"No, idiot, I said it was gonna be a Frerard."
"Oh… dammit, I always get those two mixed up."
"Whatever, Mikey."
He sighed.  "Okay, I'm gonna go stick a fork in a toaster while chugging coffee."

===

Frank was staring at my ass again.  What the hell was up with that?  I mean, this just couldn't be a hint that maybe, just possibly, HES FUCKIN GAY AND HE WANTS TO RAEP U ON UR BEDROOM FLOOR--
I must have something on the seat of my jeans.  Yes, that's it.